Two Weekends

Posted on May 15, 2012 by Jive Turkey

So, somehow two weekends have flown by since I last posted. Not sure how that happened.

Not sure how this happened, either, but it has. And in both cases, I think we just need to go with it.

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Posted in Gobble-gobble | 15 Comments

Life Stuff

Posted on May 4, 2012 by Jive Turkey

No real theme for today’s post, Internet. Just a bunch of stuff taking up my brain lately. You got a problem with that?


Sorry, that was rude. I just really needed an excuse to use THE BEST FUCKING ANIMATED GIF OF ALL TIME.

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Posted in Gobble-gobble | 4 Comments

Garden State of Mind

Posted on April 26, 2012 by Jive Turkey

As I have mentioned before, I am a very nostalgic person. Add to that the fact that I have the ability to remember numerous very specific details about random days in the past, and the amount of memories I have stored in my head is pretty amazing, especially considering I have forgotten to lock the car four out of the five last times I drove somewhere.

No need to pick the lock, friend! Just waltz right in. Also, did you know that I had a cereal bar for breakfast three years ago on my birthday? Isn’t my memory fascinating?

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Posted in Deep Thoughts, Thanksgiving | 8 Comments

Sucker Bait

Posted on April 19, 2012 by Jive Turkey

So, in my last post I mentioned that I took Sadie to get her photos taken at Target last weekend, and how it actually WAS NOT the soul-crushing experience I had come to expect from my previous experience. I KNOW! I’m starting to suspect that maybe I was just really high all last weekend or something.

Although I don’t see how that would be possible. I follow the instructions on my pill bottles to the letter!
(I laughed at this for way too long. Read it aloud in an increasingly agitated tone. It gets even better.)

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Posted in Gobble-gobble | 8 Comments

Insta-ham

Posted on April 16, 2012 by Jive Turkey

So, I have about ten kajillion things to accomplish today, but because I finished the first few things on my to-do list incredibly quickly, I thought it might be fun to blog until I run out of time to complete everything else.

Hey, if you ever want to lose faith in the creative power of humankind, do an image search on corporate-ish buzzwords and phrases like “time management.” What the fuck is going on up there. WHY IS THAT GUY PULLING A DESK LIKE IT’S A FUCKING PLOW?!

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