Well, look who it is: Little Miss I PROBABLY WON’T BE BLOGGING REGULARLY FOR A WHILE.
It’s OK. I deserve it.
(Guys, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE BACKGROUND?!)
First of all, the red beans and rice turned out beautifully, with one exception: my friends, my digestive system cannot handle a dinner of fucking BEANS, which became apparent to me immediately after eating. I still feel as though I just ate dinner, and that was 19 HOURS AGO. I just cannot eat that many beans in one sitting. I would make a terrible old-timey hobo.
Before my regretful (but delicious) dinner, I was watching Napoleon Dynamite while running on the treadmill (YES, I run now, but I’m totally lame at it and I only do it because I can watch movies while I do it). I used to watch that movie whenever it was on TV (which was A LOT), but I hadn’t seen it in a while. I got to the “Pedro offers you his protection” part, and began to wonder where I could find a car like that.
Why do I want a car like it? Well, it’s awesome, for one. But–like Pedro’s cousins–I would also like to use it to loiter menacingly around a school, intimidating those who act a fool and try to abuse others. Why would I want to do that? Oh, maybe because there is a little boy at Sadie’s school who has been hitting her on the reg for the better part of a year and I am about to WEAR IT OUT ON HIM?!?!
Here’s what you should know: this child has been problematic for a while now, constantly hitting other kids and disobeying the teachers and being generally disruptive. He does not have any sort of behavioral disorder, but what he DOES have are two parents who don’t believe in telling him “NO.” Ever. I’m not exaggerating; I have been told this by the teachers — the teachers who SURE DON’T APPRECIATE having to deal with a child who has no concept of how to operate around others. He gets put in time-outs at school, but doesn’t really care (why should he? It’s a probably a fucking novelty seeing as how it never happens at home), and once he’s done his time, he continues to hit and kick and refuse to listen to anyone but himself. GOOD FUCKING TIMES.
Also? He’s over four years old and refuses to uses the toilet. Refuses. Just doesn’t want to. The teachers try, but he’s strong and can resist them (not to mention he isn’t made to use the toilet at home) . His parents have been called on more than one occasion when he’s soiled himself and refuses to let the teachers clean him up. HE’S A PEACH.
This kid–lets call him Frank–and Sadie have been going to school together for a while. I know Frank had some trouble listening and obeying when he and Sadie were both much smaller frys, but they always enjoyed playing together. And they still do! Until, inevitably, Frank hits her. A few months ago, he punched her in the HEAD when she walked around a pole in the “wrong” direction. Last Friday, he spit on her. “On my NEW SHIRT, Mama,” she told me, with an incredulous look on her face.
So, on the one hand, I understand that Sadie will encounter this type of jerky behavior (and will generate some of her own) all throughout her life, and she will have to deal with it. I can’t protect her from everything. Also, school is the teachers’ domain; they are responsible for doling out the discipline, and they do, repeatedly, and are very transparent with us about what Frank does to Sadie. On the other hand?
My daughter is three years old. She should not have to deal with the looming threat of physical violence each time she is as school. FURTHERMORE, I should not have to feel as though sending her to school means sending her off to be some jerk’s punching bag from 8-5. I get that the teachers are doing all that they can do (they can’t very well discipline him UNTIL he does something, but by then MY KID HAS ALREADY BEEN FUCKING HIT), and it’s clear that the parents don’t give a good goddamn, so what do I do?!
On Friday night when Sadie told me that Frank spit on her shirt, I tried to come up with a response that let her know I was unhappy without showing her how FUCKING LIVID I was about all of this. “That makes me really unhappy, baby,” I said, and I saw her face immediately dissolve into worry. OH GREAT. SHE THINKS I’M UNHAPPY WITH HERRRRRR NO NO NO NOOOO! I backpedaled the shit out of that right quick, telling her instead that I’m very unhappy with Frank, and I get sad whenever her friends aren’t nice to her. I told her she has to tell her teachers EACH AND EVERY TIME Frank acts up with her, and she said she does (and I know she does — and 99% of the time, the teachers are on the alert with Frank and end up seeing the whole incident anyway), but Internet, telling her that and hoping for the best DOES NOT FEEL LIKE ENOUGH. I would talk to Frank’s parents, but what would that do? Even if they wanted to modify his behavior (FAT FUCKING CHANCE), they’re not the ones monitoring him at school. I will tell you this, though: if I am ever around when that child lays a hand on my daughter, I will not hesitate to place my face two inches from his and employ the Scarily Calm and Dead Serious Adult Voice to let him know IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that he is never allowed to do that again. In short, I would threaten his ass, because I know his teachers are precluded from doing so.
I just have to repeat right here that this child PUNCHED MY DAUGHTER IN THE HEAD.
Actually, after the punching incident, Brad told Sadie that it was OK to defend herself whenever Frank hit her. In other words, if he hits you, lay his ass out and we’ll see how long the hitting continues after that. I am aware that some of you may find that advice appalling; as for me…I’m torn about it. On the one hand, I know it’s a bit confusing for her because her teachers and parents tell her NEVER TO HIT, and since I have a RULE-OBEYING CHILD, this seems wrong to her…but on the other hand?
I want to raise a gentle, kind, and respectful child — and I have to say that I honestly believe I am (thanks in part to me and Brad, but thanks also in large part to the fact that she is just a gentle soul to begin with), but by that same token, I don’t want to raise a fucking doormat. If someone regularly hauls off and hits you across the face, I am not sure how long TAKING ALL THEIR CRAP is going to be a viable solution.
I don’t know, Internet. This one has me stymied and (obviously) all het up. I know one thing for sure, though: HEY FRANK: